My grandpa just died tonight....

I just got the news about 15 minutes ago. My cousin called my sis to tell her, my sis texted mom. Cousin said his breathing gave out, his heart gave out, his kidneys.....I'm just thankful he didn't suffer long. He was going to be 95 on the 9th.

I can't even afford to take a week off so I can go to his funeral. If my boss found out how few kids I get some days I might not have a job to come back home to.

What do I do with the birthday card I was going to send him?

Oh no, Fiff! I'm so sorry.

I am so sorry, fiffur.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Fif.

Thanks....I'm still absorbing the reality of it. I can barely look at his picture in my livingroom without balling my eyes out. And Grandpa was in the middle of signing everything he owned over to a nursing home so now everything is in limbo with lawyers and courts (in FL). No idea if we inherit or not.

My sis is being a total *itch. You would be shocked at the multiple nasty horrible texts she sent to mom after she found out via my cousin that I had in fact visited grandpa while he was still alive. She had tried to gloat to our cousin about being the 'good granddaughter' because 'Lori never went to see him' only to find out that I had been there and that he PAID for my ticket to get there. If we do inherit, I have to go with her at the same time to go through his things in the trailer he had.....how to do that without a referee? Impossible IMHO.

My cousin is trying to stay neutral, she's the executor for his stuff. I know what that entails: all the phone calls, legal crap, paperwork, etc. My sis isn't making it any easier for her.

Now to see if I can afford or even take time off from work to go to FL and not kill my sis in the process.

My sis actually apologized for her ranting and raving about my paid trip....when she realized she was mad at him and not me for it. At the last minute I went with her in the car to go to his funeral. (my boss the mayor said I could go without jeopardizing my job, just let him know when and how long I'd be gone)

4 1/2 days roundtrip of the most horrible traffic and drivers you could possibly imagine. (Becky, how do you manage not to get killed in Atlanta traffic? We came soooo close to actually getting killed) Nice service, but it didn't look like him. No rose colored glasses he wore the past few years. Looked more like a wax figure you'd see in a museum. We took Maggie with us and that was a huge help. I hugged Maggie, took her to see him in there so she'd know he was gone, and my grandpa's ex-girlfriend hates dogs but said not a word. Not at the service, not at the graveyard (military full honors-I have the flag now), not at the luncheon afterwards when Maggies sat AT the table between my sis and me (Maggie laid down on the chair and was good as gold). After a few hugs of sympathy from his friends they vanished. No invites for the afternoon or evening, even from my cousin. So my sis surprised me with a trip to Clearwater to spend an hour on the beach. Beautiful weather. Smaller beach than I remembered. Sorted through grandpa's things the next day.....that was sooo hard. I couldn't stop crying. Felt wrong, like I was invading his privacy. Cousin was cold, distant, sometimes downright mean. Took a small box of old family pictures, a quilt my grandma Mel made, his blood pressure machine, and a small side table he's had for years to remember him by. Not much but cousin said we had 'so much stuff in the car'. We left the next morning.

My sis and I hashed out over 40 years worth of grudges and crap on that trip, and when we got back hashed out some with mom. Now it's no more past, only forward from here on so I guess some good will come from this.

I had to cover his picture in my livingroom with my black lace scarf. I can't look at it without crying.

<> It's hard. Eventually, you'll be able to remember and smile. Give it time and allow yourself to grieve.

BTW... I'm nowhere close to Atlanta. I'm close to Williamsburg, VA in a TINY county that doesn't have a stop light. My worst I95 experience is driving to the DC area. Occasionally, I'll go down 85 as far as Greensborough, but I haven't driven in Atlanta in about 20 years.

Fiffur, I'm so sorry to have missed this originally. I'm sorry your lost your Grandfather. Ninety five was a good long life and I'm sure he a lot of life in those years. I'm glad you received the coffin flag. There are special frames you can get for them. Love and hugs from Antonio, Trina and I.

I will have to save up to get one of those, I've seen them and a few people in the building have one.

Grandpa fought for every last breath, he wasn't ready to go. I think he wanted to stay long enough to greet a great grandchild now that my niece is married (he knew it would be a few more years yet). I hope he's happy, dancing with grandma Mel again.