Something Fun - For No Good Reason

We get Svengoolie now, on Saturday nights here.

fiffur wrote:We get Svengoolie now, on Saturday nights here.  

Didn't mean to inadvertantly hijack the topic again though... So who does Maggie belong to?

Yes, she is a furry relative, she's my sis'. She's the rescued pup from our neglectful stepmom that she's had for almost 2 years now. Maggie is a certified Service Dog, believe it or not. She fetchs the phone, med case, the newspaper, picks up dropped silverware, all sorts of stuff. We were even teaching her how to load the dishwasher.....no kidding.

Bobcat, I just sent you from my yahoo addy a copy of Maggie bringing in the newspaper. Should give you a giggle.

Here are the photos that Fiffur sent me to post here.  Maggie seems to be trying her best to get the paper home in one bundle!

 What a hoot, the paper is almost as big as she is. Good thing it's not the Sunday
Times.

LOL!!!!!

That's so cute!  

That was the 8# Thanksgiving Rockford Register Star newspaper she was trying to bring in. (and yes, she weighed that at the time) She got the distinction of being the smallest dog in the contest to try to bring it in. She did manage it, a few sections at a time. LOL

Good Cat

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "Help wanted. Must be; able to type; good with a computer; and be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer".

A short time after, a cat walked up to the window, looked at the sign for a few moments and then went inside. He looked at the receptionist, wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, tapped it with his paw and mewed. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager and the cat repeated his actions. The office manager looked at the cat and was surprised, to say the least but he led the cat into the office.

Inside, the cat jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said; "I can't
hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type".
The cat jumped down, went over to a typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page, walked over to the manager, gave it to him and then jumped back onto the chair.


The manager was stunned, but then said to the cat; "The sign says you have to be good with a computer.".

The cat jumped down again and went over to the computer, turned it on and then created a spreadsheet! The manager was dumbfounded. He looked at the cat and said; "You are a highly intelligent cat and have some very unusual abilities. However, I still can't give you the job".

The cat went over to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about the business being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual".

The cat looked at the manager calmly, opened his mouth and said;

"Woof!"

That's great Fif.

Hope you like this....found it online.

Cat Prayer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To NEVER tell a human that
The world is really ruled by CATS!

- Author Unknown

This is satire.
http://funnybizblog.com/funny-stuff/pillsbury-doughboy-obituary

That was funny. I sent it to my mom's email.

Walking your human:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5rXLZfsJT0

I used to walk my cat, Ruby, on a leash until one day she ran up a tree. I was so worried that she might jump out and hurt herself by getting the leash caught on a branch that I never did it again.

Oh, and my Uncle Bob (not Bob the cat!) was the creator of Poppin' Fresh, the Pillsbury Doughboy. Just a little bit of trivia...

Wow, that is so cool, Mary!  

Fire Flower wrote:Wow, that is so cool, Mary!  

Thanks! I think so too. He worked for a big Chicago ad agency for many years, and was a contributing force behind many of the advertising icons of that era, like Charlie Tuna, Toucan Sam, the Jolly Green Giant, Tony the Tiger, and on and on.

He also turns 91 tomorrow!

That's incredible , BC.

Happy Birthday to Uncle Bob.

Thanks, Suzzzz!  Yep, Happy Birthday to my favorite Uncle Bob! He's one of the most interesting people I've ever known; a wonderful storyteller and an all around great guy.

Sounds like he has a huge creative streak! I love people like that.

Cat texting: http://www.catster.com/molz/20-texting-abbreviations-cat-humor-your-cats-lmao-omg?utm_source=Sters+Newsletter+Subscribers&utm_campaign=391d8f5ab4-06252013_Catster_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6475ac9af2-391d8f5ab4-306961841

Grandma Still Drives

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:
Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker .. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!' 'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met
anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the
people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!! Will write again soon,

Love,
Grandma

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>

OMG! That is funny.

Got it from my mom, where she got it I don't know.


7 Things I Can't Do These Days Because I Have Cats, a story

Remember going to the bathroom by yourself? Yeah, me neither.
It’s amazing how two 10-pound furry little things can totally change the way you do things. From the moment Pimp came into my life almost 14 years ago (and Moo showed up on my back porch four years ago), my life has never been the same. I wouldn’t trade having cats for anything in the world, but because I have them, there are some things that I'll never be able to do again.

1. Wake up after 7 a.m. (and that’s sleeping in!)

People tell me stories about lazing around in bed until noon, hitting the snooze repeatedly throughout the morning, or just lying around in bed and relaxing before popping up for the day. I marvel at this idea. Imagine that! Yes, I have a cat on my head. This is normal. My day starts with Moo’s cold, sometimes wet nose in my face, gently prodding my forehead. Then it’s a paw at my nose. Then it’s a furry body prancing across my pillow and back and forth over my body ... on his way back to nudge my face with his nose again. Rolling over only makes the matter more urgent. Now it’s Moo firmly meatloafed on my chest, his face one inch from mine, burrowing in my neck and rubbing my chin. Eventually, it’s a mad meower, standing next to me on the floor by the bed, more persistent and unsnoozable than any alarm clock. Ignore that and he starts knocking every object off the nightstand, one by one. The cat has not eaten for at least six hours, and is clearly starving. I’m up, I’m up! And then he eats five bites and walks away from his bowl.

2. Shower without being stared at.

It’s like it’s a constant peep show at my house. Pimp’s favorite spot to sit is on the bathroom counter, and his favorite time to sit there is shower time. Maybe it’s because it’s like a steam room or sauna in there and he’s clearing his little pores. Whatever the reason, turn on the bathtub faucet and he comes running to perch on the sink.
Is it shower time yet? Usually he just lies down and takes a break from his busy day (busy day of taking other breaks, I guess), but sometimes he walks over to where the glass shower doors meet the counter and just sits tall, staring in. At which point, I say hello and wipe off the fog and condensation on the doors so he can see me better. I think maybe he’s worried about me in all that water.

3. Throw out boxes

I may or may not have an online shopping problem. Boxes arrive all the time from every which website –- Amazon, shoe clubs, pet companies, you name it. Most people keep what’s inside the boxes and throw out the packaging. I empty the box and place it smack-dab in the middle of my living room floor and announce, “Moo, I got you a box!” No box is too small or too big for Moo. Every box must be inspected immediately. You can count on that. And if it’s a favorite, the box stays there for weeks (sometimes more), until a new favorite comes along. I try to keep it to one box, but sometimes you just can’t help it if he falls in love with several. Boxes are practically part of the décor in my house.

4. Have “a moment” with my boyfriend alone

Moo can't see affection happening without wanting to be part of it and getting his fair share. He’s an attention whore, and doesn't like anyone hogging up what should rightfully be his. Look into my eyes... You will give me all the attentions... So every time my boyfriend even so much as pulls me in for a hug, Moo comes right on over and starts rubbing up against our legs and doing figure eights. If we’re lying on the couch and the BF leans in for a kiss, there’s Moo walking across us, tail furring up our faces and demanding we direct our attention to him. And God forbid there’s something more intimate going on ... he’s on the bed just having to be a part of it. (For the record, I push him off. Being in the room is one thing, actually being on the bed is another story. But that doesn’t mean, of course, that he doesn’t just jump right back up. Talk about distracting!)

5. Burn candles

I can no longer light candles in my house. Even the ones that are in jars and covered, there’s no way, for two reasons: First, the obvious –- I don’t want any accidents happening and tails or fur catching on fire.
Second, because I have a habit of forgetting to blow candles out, and then I have to turn around halfway to wherever I was going to go back home and deal with them. Even if it is a jar candle that would never light up the house, I don’t want any chance of accident with the cats there. No candles around me, no sirree. But I love candles, especially the smell of them, and those plug-in air fresheners just aren’t the same. Luckily, I’ve discovered wax tarts. These are amazing! You melt them in little tart warmers, which are heated with tiny tea lights. I put them high up enough where no cat can get to them, and I never have to worry about forgetting to blow them out, because when the tea light is done in a couple hours, it just goes out on its own. Best. Invention. Ever.

6. Lie on the couch with a blanket without a cat on me

This scenario plays out every time: I lie on the couch to watch TV or read a book and pull a throw blanket over me to keep warm and cozy.
Cue the cat! Pimp on the blanket, like so. Pimp somehow hears it (do blankets make noise?!) and runs right over (no exaggeration, he hauls kitty butt) to get on top of me. He then proceeds to circle until he find the perfect spot (always the same spot; I don’t know why he makes a show out of it) and settles down. And it’s not just me, either. Anyone who lies on the couch with a blanket gets the same treatment. And it’s not one particular blanket. Anyone with any blanket on the couch gets a Pimp topper.

7. Keep things on my nightstand

I used to plug in my cellphone and leave it on my nightstand by the bed. I also used to keep a ChapStick there (hi, my name is Dorian and I’m addicted to ChapStick) and the TV remote and a few other random things. One day Moo learned that nothing made me sit straight up awake faster than the sound of my $600 iPhone crashing to the floor. And now it’s like a game. I don’t think he does it just to wake me up anymore; I think he actually enjoys watching me react.
I dare you to put something on the nightstand. One by one, he’ll knock something down and just look over at me until I acknowledge it. He’ll lightly tap his paw at the TV remote until it falls, and then he’ll glance my way to make sure I saw it. Yup, I did. Okay, next thing! And off goes the each item on the nightstand until everything is on the ground. Then he walks away nonchalantly. His work there is done.
So now I keep only nonbreakable items that make minimal noise when they fall. This way he still gets to play his game (I can’t believe I entertain this, but whatever) and I get to sleep through the night without worrying if my phone will turn on or not the next morning.