too much stuff and all of it bad

i know you guys was wondering where i've been what's up etc. well. things here have not been good for a long time and its gotten so bad its hard to even talk about.
i've been really sick since the start of april. i finally got to the clinic (the only doctors in this area that take the 'discount health plan' i have at work). the doctor said i have a heart murmer, irregular heart beat, hernia and sprained back. they took three vials of blood. he gave me refferals to a cardiologist, a surgeon and a gastroin..a gastro specialist.
i got an appointment with that gastro specialist this coming Weds, first appointment i could get.
the blood work came back about a week after it went out and everything was a little off one way or the other. but there was one thing that was eccessively off. the CA 125 which is supposed to be no more than 35 was over 925. look it up...its the test for cancer ...specifically ovarian cancer.
yeah i'm scared. i'm scared to death and i can't get the insurance co on the phone (will have to try again on Weds if i can get the phone upstairs to use)to find an onocologist to take a look at me.
he gave me three more referrals... the onocologist, two for tests one a CAT scan for ovarian, one for a mamaogram (I don't care..let 'em squash my boobs i'm not afraid of that test though i've never had one before). ...i think t here was one more. i'm just so messed up and confused i can only try to go one thing at a time.
all i want right now is to get this bloat out of me so i can be comfortable and nobody is helping me. i can bearly move...it takes me an hour or more to walk home when it used to take me 35 min and i'm so exhausted and winded i can hardly make it home from work each day. i don't sleep well cuz i'm so bloated up my back hurts or whatever side i'm on hurts.

on top of all this salem has been going down hill. the lump on his throat has spread. he will eat a tiny bit but that's it. he is still eating that tiny bit, drinking, using the itter box and is able to get up and down off the bed on his own. yesterday joe took him to the vet and the vet wanted to put him down right there and then. but joe said he had to come home to say goodbye. i said, no, not yet. as long as he will go to the food saucers and wait for me to put food there and at least eat and lick as much as he can, as long as he's alert and can get up and down off the bed he's not ready to die.

but i have that pressure put on me...watching him constantly and knwoing that any day i'm going to have to give him up. and trying to make the desicion if i want to be there when he goes or just put him in the carrier and say good bye.

and, of course, the worry of the cost of all these doctors and tests and possible surgery. i have almost started to save up enough to finally be able to get out of here next Oct after i've been at work for 10 yrs..i've been waiting for that 10 yrs to come and go before i start deciding where or what i'm going to do. but this will probably wipe all tha tmoney out and put me in dept for possibly the rest of whatever life i have. depending...depending...i just wish i could get all these tests and doctors done all at once in one or two days and get it over with and know what is wrong and what can be done.

sorry for the ramble..i hope i put this in a way it can be understood.

I'm so sorry all of this is landing on you. I'm hoping someone screwed up your bloodwork and that everything will work out for you and for Salem.

g

All my wishes are with you jeane, that you come through this and everything will be okay.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((GOOD LUCK AND HEALING VIBES}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am so sorry for you and Salem.

((((VIBES)))) and LOVE

OhMyLord, I am so sorry you're going through all this Jeane. I did some reading on that test, and what I found indicated it might not be cancer but something else that sets it off. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CA-125_test I'm hoping that's the case here, and it can be 'fixed' with surgery.

Being tired a lot is entirely related to the heart murmur and cardiac arrhythmia. Both can be treated (my dad had those): the murmur sometimes is a small hole in the heart that can be surgically repaired, the arrhythmia treated with a pacemaker.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Please keep us in the loop. You are not in this alone.

It makes me so sad to hear this...my thoughts are with you and Salem.

(((((((((hugs and healing vibes)))))))

Michelle

the gastro guy today couldn't tell me anything BUT they were very helpful. they set up an appointment for me to go to the hospital tomorrow and get a CT scan on my abdomen and something else in that area. probably the ovaries.
i know they shoot you with dye and then there's something they do for image contrasting but that's it. and i don't have to fast or anything but have to drink 'plenty of fluids'. i hope PLENTY isn't the same amount they made me drink for the ultra sound i had about 18 yrs ago.
i don't think my heart is bad enough for a pacemaker and there's NO WAY i could ever afford something like that. and the heart murmer i've had at least since college. the shortness or breath and exhaustion is more than likely from whatever is going on inside me , the HUGE weight gain and the fact that some days i'm not even eating 1000 calories. there are some days when i look back at the end of the day and i haven't even eaten 500 calories.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{[[GOOD LUCK VIBES}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I've just had an update on Jeane. One of her friends posted to her FB page that she is being
kept in hospital for more tests. They think it is her liver and she is being given Lasix to help draw
off the fluids. I don't have anymore information than that.

I'll have to go look at FB. Wishing her all the best...

thanks for the update, Sue

Thanks so much for the update Sue, I can't access Facebook at all. Excess fluid needing lasix could be the heart having trouble.....which it is. Never really heard of the liver making you retain fluids unless it's totally shutting down.......Lord I hope that isn't happening here.

I hope and pray bigtime that Jeane gets through all this okay, and doesn't lose her job and medical coverage because she's in the hospital. Some bosses can be really nasty about employees having to take time off for being sick. And who's taking care of Salem and the other kitties while she's gone? I'm not impressed with the folks upstairs filling her shoes in that respect.

Fif, I've heard a lot of horror stories like that. As to what's going on with her medically I refuse to
speculate on it. As to what is happening with Salem. Same thing. All we can do is pray and
give what ever help we can.

I tried to call her at hospital but didn't get an answer in her room. I will try later.

A quick update on Jean. I spoke with her about an hour ago. They have gotten a lot
of fluid off of her and she will be in hospital till Saturday or Sunday for more tests.
Here is the phone number for the hospital 973.831.5000. Her room number is 446. They
have a phone tree just hit zero and an operator will pick up. If you can't call then I'm sure she would
love a card at the house.

If they've reduced the fluid she probably feels much better. Here's hoping they track down the cause of all these symptoms and can help her with what's wrong.

So do I.

I hope she's feeling much better without all that fluid buildup. I know the bloating as she called it was making her miserable. I hope and pray the docs can figure out why it's happening so they can fix it. I miss Jeane being in here.
I hope Salem is doing okay. I know the kitties are missing Jeane bigtime right now, and most likely confused as to why she isn't home.
(((((((((((((((((HEALING VIBES)))))))))))))))))

I spoke with Jean today. The did pull a lot of fluid off of her. I will let her give you a full
report when she is able to get back on line. She may be out of hospital Sunday or Monday.
Jean told me she has a patient care manager. The county has the same thing here. I suggested
strongly that she sit down with them and talk.

Does Jeane know yet what was causing the major fluid retention in her body?

It's all guesses right now Fluff and I prefer that she tell all it
herself.

Do you know if she's home yet?

I saw her on line in FB. I'm sure she will get us caught up as soon as she can.
I'm not feeling up to par myself so I may not be back on FB anymore tonight.

i got home around 4:00 or so today...had to get some prescripotioins filled (the 'discount health plan' says it has a prescription thing but NOBODY knows or can access it so its all coming out of my pocket.
the only thing they can tell is is cirrousis of the liver...but they can't figure out why or how., its the nonalcaholic kind they still are testing the fluid they took out of me on Fri. (they drew out over 11 lbs),
they also found a polyp on me uterus that has to be biopsied.
i have to contact my gastro guy tomorrow cuz he wasn't there today (and have to get a note to be out of work to get the sick pay etc) have to make an appointment for the gyno..the lady came to the room when i was there and did some checking and we had a nice talk..the best thing is that the office is less than 2 blocks from here so i don't have to beg anyone for any help to get there and they can do mammograms there as well.
i went from at least 214-217 lbs (thats what i weighed about a week before i went in for the test) to 184 yesterday..when i got home today i weigned in so i could put it on my calendar and i'm down to 177.5. if i lose 2.5 lbs more i'll be the losest weight i was in HS. the gyno said i still have fluid in me and if they could get it all out and keep it out i'd probably tbe down to 160. that's about what i was in 6th grade!

But don't specualate on what it is...the doc's don't know. and the cirrous stuff they have to figure out how to treat. and they have to find out if there are cancer cells in the fluids they pulled out of me. i will probably wind up going to a specialist in Newark which is going to be almost impossible to get to.(folks upstairs took me to the hospital on Thurs and just dumped me off at the front door and said to call when i was done..i was left in there on my own to get whatever they were going to tell me).

i've got lasik pills and another pill which is similar to lasik ..i need to read they over really well. they're once a day pills and man do they make ya pee! i peed out 7 lbs in around 24hrs. yeah...i was pretty much living in the bathroom for at least 4 hrs.

since its such a hassle to post a pic in here i changed my avatar for ya. this is what i looked like the night before i went to the doc. that's Scott from the Blue Meanies up in the gift shop after the show. the pic was taken my davy jone's drummer's wife. there were a lot of really good folks there that night..got to talk with almost all the Blue Meanies guys and nobody mentioned once how hideous i looked.

Obviously Jeane, you've never seen me before coffee.

oh chickie you can't see me from the boobs down...it was scarey. i'm finding out now that people were actually calling others and asking what was wrong with me and i was so big that they thought my buttons were gonna pop off my work shirt.
at least now it makes sense that people said i was turning yellow. marta says my color is back..i couldn't tell in the hospital fuz the bathroom light made everyting look yellow.